Well, the weekend went well. We spent every minute we could with my dad. That was really nice. It was so hard to be at my parent's house though. It's so real when I'm there. She really is gone. I went through a lot of her things, not so much to get rid of her stuff yet, but, just so that I have some things here with me to remember her by. My dad wanted me to have some things. It wasn't too hard going through her stuff, it is just hard being in that house. I don't know how my dad is holding up having to live there. He has her ashes with him, which I think is a little comforting for him. We both miss her terribly though. I think I am finally waking up from my "dream" and realizing it's not a dream...it's real. I want to call and talk to her on the phone so bad, and I can't. My baby girl will never know her grandma. I am so greatful that my mom got to hold her, just 2 weeks before she died. This truly is a "one day at a time" thing. It really sucks though, I can't express that enough. I just wonder when it will get easier. I can't imagine that even happening. Some days are easier than others, and today was one of those rough days. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little easier, but you never know. Going back to their house really was hard, but I think it helped me to truly start the grieving process since I was forced to face the fact that she really is not there anymore. I know I will see her again in heaven, I just wish she was still here.
Well, just so I don't end on a sad note.....
Our baby girl is getting so big and we just love her to pieces. She smiles at us all the time and is very close to laughing. I will post a new pic soon. I have a really cute one. Our oldest is in Germany right now and is having a great time. our middle son is staying with my dad right now to keep him company and our 4 year old is here with me. I think the quiet house here is making it a litte harder for me too. I only have 2 kids with me, and it's so weird. They will be home soon though.
I will post more when I can....
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9 comments:
Jamie--I'm pretty much STILL speechless......You are the second of friend of mine to lose their mom at a young age and unexpectedly. Sherise lost her mom as well. I just can't even imagine. I'm glad your son is keeping your dad company--I'm sure that helps a ton. Glad to hear about your happy little girl and I'm VERY glad your mom got to hold her. That is very special. Although she won't remember her, you always will and you can hand down the pictures and stories. Still praying for you and your family.
Wow - I didn't know she lost her mother too. When was that? Thanks for the prayers. I need them to get through each day.
I don't even think it has been a year yet....but time flies so maybe it has......but I don't think so.....
crazy huh.......
Jamie--
Sherise's mom died sept 27th......you may want to talk to her....lmk
was she young like my mom?? It might be nice to talk to someone who has recently lost their mom too. thanks!
Ya, sherise is about the same age as me....she was diagnosed with cancer.....I can't remember what type but her death was very unexpected....basically like your mom. I'm sure she would be more than happy to talk to you.....I will email her. Although I personally don't know, I remember when my grandma died (my mom's mom)....I think she had just turned 50 too, or was very early 50's......my mom was devastated for a LONG time. I just think it is good to talk to other people who have been in similar situations....kwim....Sherise is so cool.....I think you would really like her. I will email her tomorrow or Sunday.....Love you jamie.
When I said she was diagnosed with cancer I mean her mom, not sherise.
Thanks Tara. I really would like to talk to her if she is ok with that. I know she can understand exactly what i'm going through. thanks!
It has certainly helped me, to speak to others going through the same thing I am (or have loved ones going through it). I strongly recommend reaching out to others going through the same thing.
Big big hugs to you Jamie.
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