It's been 1 week and 1 day since my mother's Memorial Service. This whole thing doesn't even seem real yet. It just feels like a bad dream that is taking forever to wake up from. I'm going to my parents house tomorrow to see my dad this weekend and I know when I walk into the house it's going to hit me again. When I'm home, it's almost like she is still here because I can't physically see that she is really gone. When I'm at their house, I know for sure that she is gone because her stuff is there, but she isn't. Right after she died it was so hard to go there because I missed her so much, and of course still do, so it's going to be hard to go there tomorrow, but I know I have to...I have to face it...she is gone. I was doing pretty well until the reality that I have to go through her things this weekend hit me and then the emotions start flooding back. I know I will get through this, i just have to take it one day at a time.
I know I haven't shared her story with you about exactly what happened yet. I will, I just need some time. It actually helps to talk about it, but for some reason it's harder to write about it. I don't know if I want to post the whole thing online anyway. I will probably e-mail you the story (those that I have e-mails for). It's just so personal that I don't really think the whole world needs to know about it. I don't care about my personal issues, but I don't want to share my mom's personal story with people I don't know.
Thanks for all your concern, prayers, and support. they mean so much to me. It has really helped me to get through this, and I truly mean that.
Keep praying for my family as we get through this.
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3 comments:
(((Jamie)))
I wish that there were something I could do, or say...
Is there any way that you can put off going through her stuff? Maybe its still to fresh and raw for you.
If you can't wait, maybe going through her things will help too.
I understand about not wanting to post info about her on the blog. It can feel like an invasion of privacy to include information about others.
I re-sent the short e-mail to you. Let me know if you didn't get it again.
Take care Jamie. I think about you and pray for you every day.
Jamie--
Was so hoping to see you this weekend, but I'm sure you got so much on your plate........
Please know that we think of you every single day.......We pray for God to help give the strength. I know our phone conversation was short but like I said in the email I didn't want to talk about things if you didn't want too.......I didn't want to ask the same questions I'm sure everybody has been asking. Whenever you get time to come here next maybe you could swing by. We would love to see you , hubby and the kids.......
Much love,
Tara -
Sorry we didn't make it over there. i really wanted to as well. it was just so crazy busy. we spent most of the weekend with my dad. He really needed that. i hope to get over there sometime though. I will e-mail you the story, or call, sometime this week.
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